Last year was not particularly exciting; it seemed that half of 2023 was completely out of my control, to the point that when I reread the summary I wrote in 2022, I could hardly find much difference. A somewhat worrying thought crossed my mind—2023, I really left myself too little time.
You are reading an annual summary about me and this blog, along with the customary outlook for the future. However, besides that, there is a truth that has troubled me for years that I need to confess; if you care, please read until the end.
From 2022 to 2023#
Monkeys and Typewriters#
When I looked back at my annual summary from last year, I found that I wrote at the beginning of the article:
This year, my activity in the open-source community has decreased, as can be seen from my GitHub contribution graph.
Uh, to that, I want to say, this year did not get any better either.
Just like last year, I briefly bubbled up in productivity mid-year and then suddenly exploded with productivity at the end of the year. I can't quite explain this phenomenon, maybe winter has some magic to it.
At the end of 2022, I wrote a web application called "Quirky Inspiration Generator." Coincidentally, at the end of 2023, I suddenly remembered this project. After trying to add new features but being disgusted by my own messy code (that kid from last year didn’t write a single comment, really made me itch), I decided to rewrite it using Next.js 14 and renamed it to "Monkey Typewriter," adding a history feature, although the other basic functions are still not complete, and the word bank is still old; it is currently in the testing phase.
Not long ago, I completely rewrote my blog, switching back from SvelteKit to Next.js, and after writing this article, I migrated from Next.js's Pages Router to App Router. In short, the rewritten blog is temporarily in a state that I find comfortable.
Speaking of the blog, I finally remembered where those scattered green dots at the end of this year came from. It turns out that back in June or July this year, I had already rewritten the blog once; that blog was called Isla, and it lasted less than half a year. Looking back further, before Isla, my blog was powered by Typecho, and at that time, due to not having a record, I used a somewhat worrisome Bandwagon VPS. During this so-called "Bandwagon period," I pushed my blog to restart countless times. I vaguely remember that the name Eltrac was decided during one of those early blog rebuilds.
As for why I am so obsessed with rewriting blogs, perhaps it is because I am still young and can withstand repeated tinkering; my thinking has not yet solidified, and my cognitive system is still being constructed. In the process of continuous learning, I gradually realize the clumsiness of my previous works, so I want to tear them down and create a version I am more satisfied with using the new knowledge and a more comprehensive thinking model. Not only my blog, but also the previously mentioned "Quirky Inspiration Generator" and "Monkey Typewriter" are the same; I felt dissatisfied, so I started from scratch, transforming it into something I find better, more reasonable, and smarter.
This year, I did not create too many new and valuable things with my keyboard; most of it was about reconstructing the old, unsatisfactory things into new, better ones. Just like the renewal and iteration of cells, for me, 2022 to 2023 was a process of self-optimization.
Writing and Social Attitude#
My contributions to the Backrooms Chinese Wiki are still ongoing. At least before July this year, I was still relatively frequently publishing my original works on that site, initially in the horror genre, then influenced by the community, I shifted to a type of fictional writing centered around "brain holes" and interesting ideas, and later gradually developed towards a more literary direction. Until July, I grew tired of the various factions' open and covert struggles within the community and increasingly did not understand what I wanted to write about the Backrooms, so I chose to withdraw and wrote my first non-Backrooms short story in a long time, "The Suitcase."
This story, "The Suitcase," does not mention the Backrooms at all, but the plot, characters, and items are almost all symbolic. The combination of these elements forms a story that symbolizes my struggles in the Backrooms Chinese creative community and the reasons for my withdrawal.
This story may not be understood by many besides myself. After that, I also wrote a short story titled "The Dancer Over There Went Crazy," but I did not publish it. I revisited many of my previous works and discovered their common flaw—leaving readers confused. At least so far, I have not been able to write a novel that allows people to fully understand the thoughts I want to express while also enjoying the plot.
Of course, it’s not that there aren’t any; some of my works in the Backrooms do meet the above two points, but I wouldn’t call them "novels." If you noticed, the title of this section is "Writing" rather than "Literary Creation," because I still do not think what I write can be called "literature." To put it another way, perhaps they can be called "popular literature." But that’s not a bad thing; at least I and many others find it enjoyable.
Perhaps this turn of events might seem a bit funny, but—three months after I chose to withdraw, I published my work in the Backrooms again, and I will continue to do so. I am even preparing for a competition that will be held in the community on New Year's Day. By the time this article is published, my work there should also have been released.
My wandering in the Backrooms community may correspond to my changing attitude towards online socializing. Previously, most of my social activities were in various circles online, especially in the first half of this year, where almost all my online social activities were concentrated in this popular literature circle. Therefore, I was aware of all the trivial matters in the circle at that time, and the disputes related to creation in the community almost became a "menstrual issue," quickly flaring up again after being calmed down. I, despite standing on the same side as most people, often participated in these debates; even if I did not participate, it was hard to remain calm in the face of the continuous output of text in the group chat.
This kind of debate (I do not want to call it a debate like some people in the community do, because as far as I know, a debate requires both sides to present factual evidence and maintain a clear mind, but unfortunately, we did not) is not entirely useless; at least it did provoke my thoughts, namely, "What exactly is the Backrooms?" And these thoughts, my friend, are the truly useless things.
When I began to ponder these questions, I had completely forgotten why I started writing these stories in the first place. Although I did not fall into the overly philosophical question of "What is the essence of the Backrooms?" which would even seem laughable in this context, I did begin to doubt the set of Backrooms-related creative theories and frameworks that were gradually taking shape in my mind. I started to think that what I wrote before, and what I might write in the future, might not be the Backrooms at all. So, to the confusion of others in the community, I, a newly appointed website moderator, suddenly announced that I would not write more Backrooms-related articles and that my future activities in the community would be limited to managing the forum.
Then I withdrew from all Backrooms-related QQ group chats, and my world suddenly became much clearer.
After being so clear for a few months, leaving behind the community's trivial matters and unnecessary thoughts, I suddenly found my passion for creation again at some point. So in October this year, I returned, and this time I do not plan to join the mixed group chat again, accepting tons of negative information that regularly bombards me.
First Encounter with Mysticism#
At the beginning of this year, I got to know Tarot through the Backrooms Tarot-themed competition. After a period of study, I successfully got into it; I have now purchased over ten different styles of Tarot decks and have also come across another divination tool called "Lenormand" through Tarot. I am currently in a phase of promoting it to friends and family and doing free readings for practice.
Tarot is a divination tool, and divination falls under the category of mysticism. Mysticism can almost be said to stand in opposition to science, but from my observation, most people do not reject it for that reason. Although they do not revere mysticism as they do science, they at least allow it to influence their lives. Many people have popularized Tarot and astrology, and although I do not appreciate this attitude, it at least shows that modern people have a demand for the application of mysticism.
Mysticism, or at least Tarot, has two layers of influence on my life.
On one hand, it manifests in interpersonal communication. I believe divination can also be a tool to facilitate communication between the diviner and the querent, especially if the two are friends. Because during the divination process, the diviner and Tarot are almost a "omniscient" presence for the querent, or at least the querent will listen attentively with the mindset of "he/she is about to tell me something I did not know." If the querent has a basic respect and a certain level of trust in the divination process, they will feel comfortable sharing their private matters that they do not usually mention with the diviner. In this case, the querent and the diviner can use Tarot as a bridge to explore a certain topic together. This topic may be the querent's recent worries or aspirations for the future, but in any case, the querent poses a question, the diviner offers new ideas using Tarot, and then both parties engage in dialogue through these "materials," seeking solutions to the problem and exploring the deeper reasons behind it. This way of communication is very novel to me and provides me, who is not good at socializing, with a new way of conversation that I can truly enjoy.
On the other hand, it influences my own life. After listening to many senior Tarot readers' advice, I started to draw a daily card with Tarot, which means at the beginning or end of the day, I draw a card to see how the day went, what I should pay attention to, what might happen, and how my personal state and energy are. Persisting in this practice has also given me the habit of journaling, as I need to "review" the daily draw, which means figuring out what person or event the drawn card corresponds to today. Naturally, I need to write down what happened today. Doing this also enhances my understanding of the cards; for example, on the day I drew "The Tower," things did not spiral out of control as I feared, but rather I completed many accumulated tasks in a rather anxious manner. Although it went smoothly, the quality was poor. Through this, I also understood that "The Tower" does not simply point to "disaster," because the element corresponding to "The Tower" is fire, which ultimately corresponds to human initiative, and the process of "The Tower" collapsing is rapid and uncomfortable, yet after "The Tower" falls, it can bring a sense of relief. That evening, I submitted a messy draft with the attitude of "Well, whatever, it is what it is," and the feeling inside was indeed a long-lost release.
In addition to drawing daily cards, I occasionally try to use Tarot to solve problems in my life. Although at the beginning of the year, when I was still in a "love brain" state, Tarot laid many warnings bare in front of me, which I pretended not to see, but by the end of this year, it did help me clear away some unnecessary emotions and unworthy people.
Here, I must also "armor up." I want to say that Tarot and any divination tool are merely "tools," not a form of "faith." We should use them correctly to have a positive impact on our lives and help others, rather than falling into excessive trust in divination. When making significant decisions, considering multiple aspects is far more reliable than solely believing in the results of divination.
Mysticism and Tarot are among the most impactful things I learned this year. Its influence is not very intense; it is more subtle, but from the changes I have observed so far, I can only say I am very satisfied and glad that I first came into contact with Tarot. I also look forward to it bringing more help to my life in the future.
The Sacred and Inviolable Self#
The original title of this section was "Interpersonal Communication," but I ultimately changed it to this title that seems unrelated to anyone but myself. However, upon careful consideration, when the concept of "self" has the notion of being "invaded," it is actually inseparable from others.
In the first half of 2023, I almost disappeared from the Chinese independent blogging circle, having only published a few articles in January, with the rest of the blog updates occurring after July.
During half of last year, I was communicating with friends I met in the Backrooms community about creative topics, of course, sometimes just chatting casually.
Regarding new friends, I met Cakelord in the Backrooms, a Canadian who speaks Chinese, Spanish, and English. He once referred to me as his "favorite author" on the Backrooms Chinese Wiki and left serious comments on many of my works. I also enjoyed chatting with him on Discord, and we are still in touch. He is probably one of the most influential people to me in 2023, at least the one who left the deepest impression.
I also met Suzi on the Backrooms Discord server, a Latin enthusiast from Taiwan. My other name, "Lychnus," was given to me by her, meaning "lamp" in Latin. I occasionally discuss topics related to society, language, and theology with her, but she knows much more about these areas than I do, and I always learn a lot from our conversations. She is also the first person I know who has bipolar disorder, but I did not feel anything pathological in her words and actions before knowing this; I admire her for being active in her favorite field and community.
Of course, I have also kept in touch with many old friends, occasionally sharing phenolphthalein (Bailuo Jia), playing Don't Starve with OnceKing, and so on.
Regarding real life, it is worth mentioning the friends I met in the school magazine club in October this year. Although there was not much communication while working with them, during team-building activities, I could see the light in everyone's eyes; everyone was striving to live their own way. In such a group where we are not familiar with each other on a daily basis, I could still feel a precious sense of belonging. Although I do not like to talk about reality on my blog, I think this is indeed something worth recording.
Another group in real life that I feel I need to commemorate later is the classmates I studied with in an off-campus class. There, I felt a sense of friendship and belonging that is hard to find in college, reminiscent of middle school days, and the people in the group are not as naive as middle school students; I can see everyone's shining points and the ideals in their hearts. There, I enjoyed childlike fun with them using adult minds, which was wonderful.
As you can see, the title "The Sacred and Inviolable Self" does not selfishly refer only to myself but to everyone connected to me, and even to everyone in the world under my ideal model of interpersonal communication. Everyone is different, differing in personality, ideals, aspirations, and hobbies; each person's differences are sacred and inviolable. Even in daily interpersonal communication, under the collective management, this beautiful and admirable difference should not be destroyed by anyone. All self-righteous behaviors that demand others to change stem from ignorance, foolishness, and a lack of aesthetic sensibility.
I feel very fortunate to have met these interesting people this year and to be a part of their wonderful lives. I want to express my gratitude for not being subjected to middle school-style, prison-like personality suppression this year; I have waited too long for this freedom.
My Late Confession#
Thank you for reading this far after I kept you in suspense for so long. The matter I need to confess is neither big nor small, but it has indeed troubled me for a long time. Irresponsibly speaking, this issue is not actually my fault, but rather a small mistake made by a poor child who knew nothing and lacked a sense of security several years ago. However, this snowball has grown larger and larger, and although it does not significantly affect you, dear readers, it is indeed a considerable burden for me—an adult who no longer needs that insecurity.
I have never found a suitable time to discuss this matter because if I casually insert it into an article, it might seem too hasty; but if I write a separate article, it might feel like making a mountain out of a molehill. Moreover, this matter has not attracted much attention from anyone besides myself and a few old friends. Just in time for the year-end summary and New Year outlook, this matter fits perfectly here, allowing everyone to know and giving me peace of mind.
I am actually three years younger than you think.
I remember I first got into programming in the fifth or sixth grade of elementary school, and then, probably in the first or second year of middle school, by chance, I met Xiaogang and started tinkering with my independent blog using Typecho. Subsequently, I naturally came into contact with web front-end and PHP. During this time, I met the great Gaz (who no longer blogs now), who helped me a lot, and I also met phenolphthalein (Bailuo Jia), with whom I had a good rapport; we are still in touch. He is one of my more important friends online; according to QQ statistics, as I write this article, I have known him for 1777 days, almost five years.
At that time, everything felt new and exciting; I loved making friends everywhere, exchanging links with many bloggers, and meeting more people, such as AlanDecode, the author of the Raw and VOID themes (both Typecho themes), a big shot who used to be called Heibing but is no longer in contact, Paul, the author of the Single theme, and a peer named Kengwang who dared to admit he was a middle school student from the start... As my online social circle expanded, many people began to directly or indirectly ask about my age.
At that time, as a fifteen or sixteen-year-old kid, perhaps due to experiences of age discrimination on other platforms, I cautiously told others I was a high school student, and when I actually became a high school student, I naturally became a college student in their eyes. By now, those old friends who have not seen this article should think I am already a senior, but in fact, I am a freshman. That's right, in June 2023, I just finished the college entrance examination. This is the reason for my near disappearance in the first half of 2023.
I think I owe those who have cared about me, whether in the past or present, an apology. Three years ago, Gaz helped that little brat preparing for the high school entrance examination to seriously consider college entrance examination choices, and looking back, I still feel a bit guilty, but his advice did indeed help me this year. As for phenolphthalein, who has been in intermittent contact with me, he has always regarded me as a peer who is just one year younger; I wonder what he will think when he sees this news.
For so many years, since I found my own piece of paradise on the internet, my online social circle and my real-life friend circle have always been separated. Every time I updated my QQ space, I would block people from the other circle. This was caused by my low self-identity as a child, and this issue has persisted until now.
This topic seems to have become a bit heavy, but in fact, I have long been prepared to say it; it's just that, as I mentioned earlier, I lacked an opportunity. So, to lighten the topic, I decided to end this section with this sentence:
@Broca, I’m not a virgin loser who’s almost twenty-two; I just turned 18, and although I’m not as early as you, it’s only been a little while, you know?
My Plans on the Internet#
In the past, I was someone who loved to "paint cakes," because the final results of the things I wanted to accomplish were very appealing in my mind, so I always wanted to depict the images in my mind and share them with others. For example, I once wrote in my blog that I would create a Typecho theme called "Windbell" and went on and on about my design ideas, but the final progress of this theme was just creating a folder. There are many reasons why these things ultimately did not come to fruition; some were due to busy studies, some because I found that the short-term results contradicted my expectations after practice, and some simply because, while doing it, I suddenly stopped, and I didn’t even know why.
Fortunately, I gradually learned to simply record new ideas in my notebook or phone memo when they arise, and when I have time, I would try them out first. If I achieve some results, I would then show them to others, seek opinions, and continue working on them. When they are nearly done and at a trialable level, I would announce them to everyone.
The result of this approach is that the quality of the things I create has significantly improved, the number of discarded drafts has also significantly increased, but the exposed discarded drafts have almost disappeared. The only downside is that my blog update frequency has decreased, but I can start writing other types of articles to fill that gap. So overall, this way of doing things makes me feel very comfortable, and the results it brings are quite good.
What I hope is to maintain this attitude in 2024. Now that I no longer have to worry about the college entrance examination and heavy studies, my scattered GitHub contribution graph should return to the peak of 2022 without missing a day next year, and the blog will not be as overgrown as it is now. Of course, these are just hopes, not plans.
As for the real plans, I do not want to say too much because, as I just mentioned, I have learned the lesson of "saying it but not doing it," and the upcoming plans are also based on what I am "currently doing."
First of all, this website, I will no longer define it as a personal blog but as an independent blog maintained by an individual that produces shareable and valuable content. This means I will not allow myself to vent on this site; even when discussing my personal matters, I will keep it brief, maintain a certain distance, and treat the content I publish on the blog as articles rather than diaries. Regarding this change, I was indeed influenced by Velas Radio Station and Mobius, and the positioning of the site will gradually align with these two sites.
This also means that I will no longer allow myself to publish too much personal information on this site, just like authors of published books only include a brief self-introduction on the cover and title page; if readers want to know this person more deeply, they must read the book he/she wrote and get to know the person through the text.
However, I do have a relatively detailed need for a "self-introduction." After careful consideration, I decided to purchase another domain name that represents myself, solely for personal display. This means that shortly in 2024, my traces on the internet will look like this:
- A new domain name (for personal display)
- Multilingual personal introduction
- Social media information
- Navigation, linking all internet resources related to me
- Diary or some casual remarks
- www.guhub.cn (for the services I provide on the internet)
- Chinese blog, focusing on content production
- Web Lab, some web applications I made
As for what that "new domain name" will be, I have not decided yet. Suzi helped me choose a Latin word meaning "lighthouse," Pharus, which I quite like, but later found out it shares a name with a company, which made it feel less valuable, so I am still struggling with what this domain name should be.
Additionally, I plan to start a series of articles called "Beginner's Not Proficient," introducing interesting knowledge and insights from different fields, but without spending too much time on in-depth research, just picking out the parts that the public might find interesting to explain. I am currently writing the first issue; if you are interested, you can subscribe to my blog.
Alright, the much-anticipated cake-painting segment ends here.
Cross-Time Dialogue#
In last year's year-end summary, I left some questions for myself this year. At that time, I wrote:
I know myself; this time next year, I will definitely flip to this page and see how I wrote the annual summary this year because I cannot help but look for references when writing an article that requires organization and format. So, I decided to emulate Mobius's year-end summary and leave a few questions for next year's self.
Although I did indeed review last year's year-end summary, the reason was not to "find references" for this year’s summary but to see what I did this year and compare the two years. In this regard, my writing ability has indeed improved quite a bit.
Now, let’s see what questions last year's me posed:
About Self-Love#
You always feel you are not worthy of love; can you talk about the lovely qualities you possess?
No kidding, seeing that I left myself such a question, my reaction is: Wow, how could this little brat from a year ago be so self-deprecating? If this person were not me, I would really want to curse.
I vaguely remember that in 2022, I finally let go of a love that had been ongoing for four or five years, which came somewhat suddenly during an argument, leaving me confused. That unhealthy relationship brought too many negative emotions to my adolescence, probably from the age of twelve to sixteen. I felt inferior because of a fool who did not appreciate my worth, which bred endlessly in the depths of my insecure middle school heart.
Perhaps my unweathered brain was indeed too eager for intimacy; after I vented my frustrations about that fool to my friends and breezed through two months without any burdens, I fell again for another fool's smile. Fortunately, this pain only lasted a year, not because I learned my lesson, but because I lost my mind even more and confessed to someone unworthy three times. In the end, I had him tear up the love letter I wrote and put the torn paper deep in the drawer of my desk.
Now it’s the summer and autumn of 2023, and I encountered such a person again. He had served two years in the military, but his strong exterior revealed a hint of elegance; his personality seemed to blend that of an adult and a child, and beneath his good looks seemed to hide many stories. I don’t know how to describe the chemistry between us; I was indeed attracted to him, and it was not like the previous two relationships where I was just infatuated. I recommended he take the MBTI personality test, and his result was INFP-T, just like mine. At that time, I only felt that we were fated, without realizing that he would also evade responsibility just like my past self. On an ordinary autumn day, amidst the faint mist and the glow of traffic lights, I put on my favorite autumn outfit but did not wait for him at that intersection.
He did not block me, but he never replied to my messages again. I do not understand why; perhaps it was the terrifying social pressure for him, or perhaps I do not understand what is best. This beautiful moment was fleeting, but the good thing is that its disappearance was far from the heart-wrenching nature of the previous two relationships; it only occasionally adds a bit of sadness to my otherwise uneventful days during a boring afternoon.
I really thought that one would work out...
Perhaps it is true that extremes meet; experiencing too many blows to my self-esteem has made me stronger, or perhaps I have simply come to terms with some things. The causality of any event is extremely complex, and one cannot attribute any failure to a single factor. The fact that I had no results with them does not mean I am unworthy of love; some people fear coming out, some fear commitment, some have never thought about what they truly want, some blindly pursue momentary pleasure, and some still have their own unhealed wounds.
As I write this, I realize I misunderstood the question; I should answer "Can you talk about the lovely qualities you possess?" Well, it’s not too late to change my answer now; my response is:
I am just lovable, no need for a reason.
The Constraints of Self#
Do you still believe that humanity should shed all constraints to show their true selves? Just like you once thought "phallocentrism" should be translated as "penis worship," because you believe that humanity creates this so-called "formality" merely to cover up, the more sacred the name, the more filthy the actions it conceals.
I actually want to end this question with a simple "Hell yeah!" but considering this is still a serious summary, I should say a bit more.
I seem to have never discussed my moral views on the blog. I believe that "as long as it does not harm anyone, it is moral." If removing these "constraints" does not make anyone unhappy or offended, then it is certainly permissible.
However, what I mean by "unhappy or offended" does not include phrases like "You can't talk about that openly" or "Students should behave like students," because those are the very constraints I am referring to.
I am not harming anyone or breaking the law; why shouldn't I be able to live the way I want?
About Self-Worth#
How do you view the recognition of others? Which is more important compared to the realization of self-worth?
At least for me, the realization of self-worth largely depends on others, though not entirely. For example, the articles and novels I write, or the games I might create in the future, I create them to express my thoughts and convey certain messages. Since we are talking about "expression" and "conveyance," it inevitably involves the receivers of the information, namely readers, listeners, and players. Only when they understand what I want to express does my work have meaning, and when my work has meaning, my self-worth is realized.
In summary, the realization of self-worth requires "me, conveying thoughts through my work," and "others, understanding the connotation of my work."
However, the question mentions "recognition from others," which is somewhat different from "being understood." I believe that recognition must be based on understanding; feeling agreement after understanding counts as recognition. As for recognition from others, I think it is more of a "motivation." When Cakelord says I am his favorite author, that joy is quite rare. Of course, there are some blunt individuals in the Backrooms community who claim that some of my works have "no literary value," but I don’t mind much because they are right; I am not trying to do literature.
I am just a guy who writes stories, a happy bumpkin.
What kind of creation can be called good creation? Does it have to have depth?
I decided to answer this question together with the previous one because my self-worth largely depends on the feedback from my creations.
My answer is "Oh, hell no." Being overly concerned with depth and meaning is too boring. I believe that any work born from genuine feelings has its depth; those works that may not have profound meanings but can evoke emotional responses and resonate with people, even if they are quite cliché, are still valuable.
The only creations I do not recognize are those that are self-indulgent, created for the sake of creation, or kitschy works.
Perhaps because I am an outsider, I do not like to categorize creations into high or low; if I had to, I would rather look at how much the work is liked and praised by the public and how much emotional value it brings, rather than getting caught up in its literary value.
Questions for Next Year’s Self#
Let this Q&A become a tradition for this blog. Here are the questions I leave for next year's self:
- What is the work you are most satisfied with when you are writing the 2024 annual summary?
- Are you satisfied with your current life?
- What people or things have you encountered this year that you believe will have an impact on your life?
- You have always wanted to do game development; how is that goal coming along now?
Incomplete Annual Statistics#
Phew, I have already written so much; let’s switch to a lighter topic.
In 2023, I read a total of seven books:
- "Introduction to Logic" - [Chinese] Gesang
- "The Nameless Town" - [Japanese] Higashino Keigo
- "Summer, Fireworks, and My Corpse" - [Japanese] Otsuichi
- "Zoo" - [Japanese] Otsuichi
- "Solaris" - [Polish] Stanisław Lem
- "Everything Will Be Alright" - [Australian] Anxious Lines
- "Doraemon Volume 0 50th Anniversary Edition" - [Japanese] Fujiko F. Fujio
Yes, I count comics too; why not?
In 2023, I added the following games to my Steam library:
- "Moo Moo Apocalypse," the game itself cost about 76 yuan, DLC cost 48 yuan
Fun, buy it quickly - "Cuphead," played a total of 37 minutes, reason: too bad
- "Portal," played a total of 57 minutes, reason: dizzy
- "Portal 2," never launched
- "Stray," played a total of 27 minutes, reason: died,
your mom - "Stacked," fun, except for being a bit monotonous
- "The Survivalists," obscure and not fun
- "Superliminal," because I was home alone during the summer vacation, I played it intermittently three times before finishing it
- "Rusty Lake," bought the whole series but only played two parts
- "Donut County," interesting, short process, can be bought if you like cute styles
- "Left 4 Dead," accurately hit my roommate in a horde of zombies
- "Slime Rancher," cute and brainless
- "Gary's Mod," just bought, haven’t played it to the essence yet
- "Draw & Guess," I’m a normie guessing anime with a bunch of otaku
This kid is really a spendthrift.
In 2023, after the college entrance examination, I underwent a three-month weight loss program. During this period, I consumed about three boxes of buckwheat noodles, twenty pieces of chicken breast, about ten broccoli, countless apples, cucumbers, potatoes, and dihydrogen monoxide; used cooking utensils about 180 times, went out for night runs totaling eighty kilometers after eight o'clock, and jumped rope at home about two hundred thousand times. Ultimately, I successfully lost about twenty kilograms and did not rebound after entering university, despite not overeating.
In summary, next year I want to read more books, play more games, and eat more.
At the End of the Beginning#
I didn’t expect that this simple annual summary would turn into a ten-thousand-word piece; I also appreciate you for reading this far.
At this "end" of the "beginning," I drew a Tarot card to summarize my life in 2023, and the card was the reversed "Page of Wands." The Page of Wands, in my eyes, is a passionate learner filled with various novel ideas, but the reversed Page of Wands seems a bit lost in his thoughts, unsure of how to act, which may stem from a conflict between his abilities and ideas. However, this kind of conflict seems to be something everyone must go through; at least from what I have observed, things are moving in a positive direction.
After this, I have nothing more to say, so:
Happy New Year!
See you!
Due to a recent issue with Giscus that has not been promptly fixed by the author, comments on the blog are temporarily unavailable. If you wish, you can send me an email or a private message, and I will post your comments here. Thanks to everyone for their serious messages!
I was busy with other things during the New Year and didn’t check the blog until Mikusa reminded me; I only then realized you tagged Broca in the year-end summary (laughs). After reading it, I just thought, "So Cola is only a freshman," which surprised me a bit. However, my Japanese teacher once said to us graduates, "When I graduated, my teacher said he envied us students for being young; now it’s my turn to say this to you." I can’t remember what she said afterward, so I’ll take the liberty to add, "I hope your youth brings you infinite possibilities in your future life."
Finally, I wish you to break your virginity soon!
Best regards, Bailuo Jia